Saturday, March 28, 2009
always on edge
I've been to the pediatrician more than I'd like in the past week. The first visit showed that Kate lost about a pound since birth, so they wanted me to supplement formula with breastfeeding. Then she had her biliruben checked 3 times until it went down to a satisfactory level. Today she went back for a weight check and the doctor said she's gained 'alot of weight" and that we shouldn't feed her any more than we are. Right now we're feeding her 3 to 3 1/2 ounces every 4 hours and she even goes a stretch during the day where she waits 5 hours between feedings. She's back to her birth weight plus an ounce. I feel like I can't win. She loses too much so we supplement. We feed her when she's hungry until she's full. How can you "overfeed" a newborn? She's not jaundiced anymore.. had a body temp of 99.2 this morning (is that normal??) and the doctor said "she's thriving." So if she's "thriving" why am I still on edge all the time?
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4 comments:
That's being a good mom... always wanting your child to be doing good and worrying about things going wrong.
being a bereaved mom, that's just going to be magnified a little bit more, because you already know from horrible personal experiences that babies can die, and you know how awful it is to lose a baby. So, your feelings of worry are going to be intensified because of that.
You're doing good, you're doing nothing wrong. Don't be so hard on yourself (I know, easier said than done) and do try and enjoy the moments, because they do go quickly.
((hug))
I'd keep doing what you're doing.... why would you cut back feeding Kate if she's doing well?? Pediatricians can make you nutty fairly regularly, so keep that in mind. There have been several times over the years when I wanted to wring my old pediatrician by the neck because she says something insensitive or stupid.
Are you feeling better doing what you're doing (pumping & supplementing) or are you still feeling down? You're always welcome to call me, even if I don't have earth-shattering advice. I have good listening ears.
We moms tend to pick apart every word a pediatrician says and rehash them all to find the nugget of "what we're doing wrong." Of course, there are also peds who make you feel criticized (whereupon you need to find a new doctor sooner rather than later.) Your sweet girl is thriving. Feed her when she wants to eat. Soak her up and love her. Newborns come with a big bag of worry in the best of circumstances, so cut yourself some slack. You're doing great.
I will email you soon. I keep reminding myself that we need to chat about all of these feelings, but I have such a hard time getting on the computer. In short though, I relate with all of your anxieties and the crying etc. I guess our hormones are over the top and just magnify the grief, despite the fact that I am so happy to be home with Denis. Hang in there, I am hoping it gets better. And follow your gut.
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