I hate being scolded. My hubby scolded me today and implied that it's my own fault that this baby hasn't arrived yet. He wasn't trying to be insensitive, it's just that I'm fixated on the fact that she's been doing this whole twitching thing ALOT in the last week. I'm freaking out that something is wrong with her and I want her out NOW. My hubby told me that because I'm living in constant fear and anxiety that my body won't let me go into labor. He scolded me by telling me that I need to trust my body to grow this baby, and trust that the twitching movements I've been feeling frequently are normal. How the heck do I tell myself that when my baby's whole body twitches for five seconds at a time, several times a day that it's a "normal" response? Charlie never did any twitching that I can recall. Then again, Charlie wasn't considered a "normal" baby or a "normal" pregnancy. Maybe he was supposed to twitch? I really don't know how to calm my fears. After talking to the midwife in my doctors office she tried to reassure me that the twitching I was feeling was the baby's "startle response" and that it's normal. It didn't reassure me though. I'm still a basket case about it. My sister-in-law even scolded me today for thinking something was wrong with my baby. She jumped down my throat and said that maybe I was being so negative because I wanted something to be wrong with her. WTF?
Yeah... she wanted to hear me say that "Kate is fine. Kate is not Charlie."
I can say that Kate isn't Charlie all day long, but that doesn't make her any safer now does it?
How can I get over my anxiety? How can I get through the next few seconds, days, or weeks until she decides to make her appearance?
Am I as nutty as I sound??
6 comments:
You are so not nutty and although I can't help you with the twitchy thing enough people have commented about it that it must be common enough. Your family probably mean well but its horrible being scolded as you say. I am not sure they (even our husbands)get the guilt and worry associated with being the ones to 'carry the baby' its so tough. My sister is currently 4 days overdue with her 2nd and kinda growled at me that yes yes yes she would get a scan to check fluid levels etc etc but that all was fine. I must say I got off the phone and shed a few tears. NOBODY gets it. xxxx
you're not nutty..and personally, I'd like to have a few words with your sis in law for her comment.
Asher didn't twitch, but I know it's common. I wish I could tell you something to calm you, but I truly believe there are no words that will calm your nerves, no sounds that will take away your anxiety, except Kate's cries.
There was nothing anyone could say to me to take away my apprehensions. Nothing. Except Asher's cry. All I can say is to try to relax, for Kate's sake. Know she's fine. Your midwives and Dr's are all saying she's fine. Try not to worry. She'll come when she comes. It's all in her time and God's time. Not yours. relax. She'll be here soon.
Breathe.
You aren't nutty and your anxiety is totally normal. I panick when this baby moves too much and I panick when it doesn't. Nothing will reassure us until we are holding them in our arms. Please, be gentle with yourself. And feel free to share my nuttiness with your husband so he can see you are not alone!
You don't sound nutty at ALL! Maybe a bath and some nice music and candles and relaxation! Kate's actual due date isn' for a few more days, right? It's so hard to wait, esp. after what you've been through.. I just can't wait until you get to hold that sweet girl in your arms!!! SOON!!!
Nothing anyone says really helps, I know. Just remember Charlie's got this covered. love, Sarah
You are not nuts. The waiting is so difficult, and it's so hard to know whether what you feel is intuition or fear based on losing Charlie. Ask for an ultrasound- who cares if they think you're crazy? I have 3 kids- ages 4 and under-and we nearly lost our 3rd to cord strangulation. I too was a "worried mommy" - unreasonable and ridiculous. But my fears proved founded after an emergency c-section revealed that Sophie Kate had the cord around her neck 5 times and a true knot. God alone saved her and I am forever grateful. I'm sure your Kate is absolutely fine. But don't let people make you feel bad when you are the ONLY one carrying Kate and feeling what you're feeling.
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