Although it is just past midnight, it is December 4th. My son went to heaven on December 4th in the wee hours of the morning. We got the call from the NICU at 1:42 a.m. that said he was coding and to come quick. At that point he had been coding for about 45 minutes before they even called us. He passed away at 2:54 a.m. I remember leaving the NICU around midnight shortly before my Charlie slipped away. We kissed his little feet goodnight and told him to "be good." The nurses reassured us that he was doing fabulous and to go get some rest.
We were hoping to grab a few hours of sleep before coming back in time for rounds at 5 a.m.
We had JUST gotten to sleep when they called to tell us what was going on... We hurried across the parking lot to the hospital from the Ronald McDonald house. I didn't think we were walking in the NICU to witness the final moments of our son's life.
The CPR, the defibrillator, and the hopeless looks on the faces of the doctors are things I will never forget.
I will never forget holding my son's lifeless body and letting out the most agonizing and mournful cry. Two years ago today, my heart broke into a million pieces.
I will never be the same.
I will never forget...
10 comments:
Charlie is missed. I am so sorry he is not still here.
I cry and my heart breaks for you as I read and remember Charlie.. a boy I never knew. But because of him, I know you and your kind words have helped me through a difficult time. Big hugs to you all!
Thinking about you and Charlie. No one will forget.
(((Beth))) Thinking of you and Charlie...I'm sure I've told you this before, but our stories are so strangely similar...Wishing a peaceful December for both of us as we remember our boys.
I don't remember how I found your blog, but just wanted to pass along my prayers for comfort for you and your family.
Am so so sorry..this breaks my heart to read. We all wish we was here so much.
You don't know me, but I found your blog through MckMama's blog. I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you today.
You are a beautiful mom Mrs. Beth. Love ya!
Connie D.
Hugs to you and thoughts of Charlie.
Your story is very shocking, and so, so tragic.
I follow your blog and every time I click on your blog it brings tears to my eyes. I am so so sorry for your loss.
I was out shoveling snow the other day and as it was falling I thought, I think today is Charlie's birthday. Even though I don't know you, your son is thought of and has touched my life.
Wishing you a peaceful day.
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