I still remember --

Fall always reminds me of Charlie, and his final days. It was 2 years ago in September when we started touring the NICU and hospital. Two years ago when we met with the specialists at Children's Hospital of Michigan. Fall reminds me of all of the prep we did when we were eagerly waiting for Charlie to make his appearance. We had two baby showers in the fall. Both last fall and this fall, I have felt some sense of urgency, like I need to be preparing for something. I have had nothing to prepare for. The past 2 fall seasons, I've felt empty. I've been grieving. I continue to remember my Charlie -- that will never go away. As his second birthday approaches next month, I prepare for nothing but sadness. For me, fall is a time for remembering... As the leaves begin to fall, so do my tears..