it finally rears it's ugly head!

Jealousy! Oh NO!! After spending a whole week with my nephew, and seeing how wonderful he is.. I'm jealous of his parents for not realizing how fabulous of a child he is, and how much potential he has. They told us how "bad" he always is for them, and the only time I EVER saw him being "bad" is when nobody was paying attention to him and he wanted to be interacted with. So if he is "always" bad, then is he never being interacted with? He was always a perfect angel when he was with his auntie and uncle. At the beginning of the week, he said very few words.. but by the end of the week he was saying 3 word sentences as we constantly asked him to "use his words".
He's such a special little guy, and I miss spending time with him already. I liked feeling needed and wanted the whole week, especially when he'd come to me for a little comfort or bringing me a book to read to him at nite-nite time. I wish I got to be that comfort to some little person on a permanent basis...
Good things come to those who wait right? Well... I'm still waiting... and having a second mother's day without Charlie, and not being pregnant made me so very sad. What is there to look forward to?
The kicker is....
Corey came home from work yesterday and told me about a co-worker who just found out his wife is pregnant. They went for their first ultrasound and found out they are 11 weeks, almost out of the first trimester. They JUST found out?! I wish that would happen to me! I think the part that makes me jealous is that they just had a "surprise" baby back in September, and this new baby was a complete and utter shock to them too.
I need a good "shock"!!! WHERE'S MY SHOCK!!
It seems I only get jealous when it comes so easily to those who aren't expecting it, or wanting it, and aren't excited about getting the glorious news that they're expecting. When people act like being pregnant is a big inconvenience, it makes me wish that they knew how lucky they were..

There.. my rant for this lovely foggy tuesday... The day I get testing done to see why I can't be that "comfort" or have that same "shock". Let's hope they find some answers soon..