We met with an adoption coordinator. We learned so much information! We both felt better after leaving the meeting and are discussing our options. If we go ahead with the adoption process and pay the money and end up being pregnant by some act of G-d, then we'd be taken out of the selection process until our baby reaches one year of age. So do we keep trying to have a baby and nix the adoption, or do we go ahead with the process and figure that we haven't been successful in producing a biological child so we'll proceed with adoption? Should we wait to see if the doctor finds a reason for my repeated miscarriages or just stop trying all together and adopt? Should we start the process of adoption? Should we wait 6 months to see if this whole miscarriage business gets sorted out? Who's to say I'd even get pregnant in the next 6 months or at all anyways? If we pay the money and start the process of adoption, what happens if we DO get pregnant? According to the papers we'd sign, we wouldn't be eligible to adopt at that time. Am I worthy of adoption? Does adoption mean I'm giving in to the dream of having more biological children, or am I merely setting up a back-up plan in case my original plan fails? Am I terrible for thinking any of this?
What do I do?
2 comments:
Hi Beth. I miss our chats. I hope you're doing well.
i've been trying to think of the right thing to say here, but after days of thought, i'm still at a loss. i thought of adoption after losing Jorai. we probably would have looked into it further if we didn't get pregnant. i don't think it's wrong of you to look into it and even go for it. you want to be parents and you'd be wonderful parents to both biological children and non-biological parents.
i guess the only thing i have to ask is what's in your heart? don't think about what may happen in the future. anything can happen. just follow your heart.
you guys are in my thoughts.
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