one month

I've survived a month with my sweet baby Kate. The first few weeks were insane, and emotionally draining but we're settling into some sort of something... I can't say "schedule" or "routine" because with a baby this young there's no such thing. I never know what kind of night it's going to be because some nights she's fussy, some night she sleeps alot and some nights she'll be wide awake taking everything in.
It's hard because DH and I are alternating schedules so that we can both get a chunk of sleep in. Some night's I'll go to bed super early and DH will keep Kate out in the living room in the front of the house and take care of her until her last feeding at around 1 a.m. (give or take an hour) Then he can go to bed and sleep until he has to get up at 8 a.m. and I take her 4ish and 8ish a.m. feedings. Or we alternate if he's the one who's tired earlier. I know this schedule is only temporary as she'll settle into sleeping longer as she gets older. I look forward to the day DH and I can go back to cuddling on the couch and having some "adult" time together.
I'm grateful for my little girl and am in no way complaining. It's just that this whole "motherood" thing takes WAY more getting used to than I ever imagined. I've only known life as a "bereaved mama" up until a month ago, and now I'm actively parenting a newborn. Wow -- how did I get here?!
I don't even know if this post makes any sense. I'm tired, hungry and in desperate need of a shower. :)