Can you believe it? I still have days that I miss my son unbearably. I thought by a year and a half that those days would fade. They have, but they still creep up on me every now and again. These unbearable days come when stress levels are at their highest, and sleep is at its lowest. My husband actually told me to "snap out of it" the other day. I wasn't happy with that remark, especially since I've never been one to tell him how to grieve. Maybe he thought that I shouldn't be having "unbearable" days since it's been a whopping year and a half. No.. that certainly can't be it.. I figured out that it was because he was grieving too. He's scared because of his dad's upcoming kidney transplant surgery (his mom is donating the kidney so he's scared about that too), he's sad because it was his second father's day without Charlie, and he needed MY support. He wanted me to snap out of it so he had someone to be strong for him so he can be weak. It's kind of our "thing".
I will always be a grieving mama with a sarcastic husband who loves me, and needs to "snap out of" the funk I've been in these past few days.
2 comments:
i'm thinking about you my friend.
i think we'll always miss our babies. i almost feel as if i miss Jorai more after asher blessed our lives because i see so much of her in him. it makes me think what she would be like if she lived.
i don't think there will ever be a time where our grief is easy. our babies will forever be with us, no matter how much time passes.
Oh Beth...there are days that still overwhelm us. The fact that most days we seem "ok" - is a huge accomplishment in my eyes.
I hope today is better for you. Hope Charlie sends you down big angel hugs to let you know he loves and misses you so.
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