Friday, September 4, 2009

nightmare...

Last night I had the most undeniably horrible nightmare that I've ever had in my life.. I dreamt that I was in Charlie's body when he was leaving this world.. and that I could feel everything he was feeling. In my dream I felt like I was drowning, suffocating. I felt scared and alone like nobody could hear me or see the discomfort I was in. I felt pain and panic. It felt so very real that I woke up in a cold sweat and started to cry. I ran to Kate's room to make sure she was okay, and then I scooped her up and snuggled with her. I miss my boy, and I hope to G-d that he didn't feel those terrible things I was feeling when he passed away. I hope it was peaceful for him.. I really really do..
I miss my boy terribly today.

3 comments:

Henry's Mom said...

You're post brought tears to my eyes, honestly if I weren’t at my desk I would be sobbing. I am so sorry. I am just so so sorry.

Ya Chun said...

that is a truly terrible nightmare... hugs

CLC said...

That's horrific. I think about this all of the time. I too pray that Hannah didn't feel pain. I guess what drives me most crazy is that we will never know.