So someone I'm close to had the audacity to publicly criticize my parenting style. I tend to follow a more AP lifestyle and she's more mainstream. I prefer gentle discipline and she uses a different parenting style than I would choose for myself or my children. I'm not saying you can't be firm, but in general I like to redirect my child's behavior when needed. So facebook has always been where she decides to attack my style and when she did it last week in response to my wishing my mom lived closer so I had more help, I about lost it. I nicely responded when she said that I make it so much harder on myself than I needed to. When she said that maybe I should hold off on having a third child (ahem, I've already had three.. you mean fourth).. which is really none of anybody's business to begin with.. I went on the defensive.
Of course when she said she'd "set 'em straight if they came to stay with her for week." I replied that I love my children just the way they are and they don't need to be "straightened"...
I believe everyone has their own style of parenting, and one should not be judged based on what works for their family. If I choose to co-sleep or wear my babies, or do gentle discipline then I shouldn't be flamed for it. I would never say anything to her about how she parents her children. I may drop hints about what works for us in the same circumstances but won't be the one to say, "hey.. maybe you should hold your baby while you feed it instead of propping the bottle and going back to sleep."
Okay, that last statement was a little snarky, but true...
I hope someday we can come to an understanding and not make it a competition on who parents their child "better". We're just different. That is all.
2 comments:
Ok, I'll say it - I am guessing that you are doing the better job! Cosleeping and gentle discipline - I am convinced - are the way to go. Not CIO and authoritarian tyranny.
And you know what, respecting your children and showing them patience does require more thought and energy.
I wish your mom was closer to help out too. IT sounds like she supports your choices, which is great. My parents totally don't get it, and don't understand why I don't just put Beanie in a playpen to play by herself and cry herself to sleep so that I can 'get stuff done'. Excuse me, I am doing something, raising my child.
You handled yourself way more gracefully than I would have! :) That whole comment about give them to me for a week was WAY out of line!! Your babies are BABIES!!! I mean, jeeze!! What exactly would she do differently? Ignore them and spank them? COME ON!!!
The thing I love about AP.. is that it is parenting with your heart - you do what FEELS right.. not what you're 'supposed' to do by todays standards.
Post a Comment