Monday, May 16, 2011

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In recent days I've been approached by a family member and a friend. Each know of a new grieving set of parents mourning the loss of their babies. I do my best to answer their questions of how they can help their friends, and give them some resources that seemed to help me in the early days. They seem cautious when asking me at first, because they don't want to bring up bad memories -- but at this stage in the game I can talk pretty much in a "matter of fact" way about my loss. That's not to say it's not painful at times, but those times are really few and far between. I'm at a point where I can remember Charlie in a bittersweet way and smile when I remember and share his story. (He was adorable after all). As I share my story, I hopefully display how I've moved forward -- out of the fog of the early days and into the "ever after". We will be approaching 5 years in November and his absence is felt among us. People often talk about knowing when their family is "complete".. I know I will never have this feeling of being a "complete" family -- not as long as we're always missing one key member -- our first child.
I hope I can support other families as they walk the same path I have. My wish is that I can help them see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The rain clouds will start to fade and make room for the sun to shine again. That's not the say there won't be some cloudy days, but hopefully those days will become fewer and farther in between.

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