6 more days..

We're at t-minus 6 days until what would have been Charlie's 3rd birthday. The day he was born I felt so proud to be a new mama. I was so excited and scared at the same time. I didn't know my world would come crashing down 81 hours later...
Hindsight is 20/20 and looking back I think I would have done it all a little bit differently. I would have taken more pictures. I would have held him longer. I would have sung to him more. I would have spent more time at his bedside. I never would have left him that night to get some sleep.
You can't go back though, and you can only move forward. So for his 3rd birthday we're dropping off items to the Children's Hospital where he spent his life. We're helping others by donating much needed items to honor our son's memory.
We miss our sweet little Charlie. Even after three years my heart doesn't ache any less when I think about how big he'd be, or how sweet he'd be to his baby sister.
I wonder what it'd be like to put 2 kids to bed each night, or how a family of 4 would function on a day-to-day basis. We will always have an empty spot in our family where our first child was supposed to be. He only lives on in our memories and in our thoughts.. Did I mention I miss him terribly?

I leave you with a quote from an unknown author. I found this as I was fumbling around and wanted to share it...

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."