I'm a monster. Yep. You're hearing it here. When the sun goes down, I get anxious and angry because I know I'm not going to sleep anytime soon. If it's not one kid, it's the other. Kate was up screaming most of the night last night, but that's only after her sister kept us up until 1 a.m. crying for no apparent reason. Our nighttime has turned into a battle and we're losing. Maggie doesn't want to go to bed when it's time, and Kate doesn't want to stay asleep. I'm losing it folks. I'm tired, and quite frankly SICK of battling each night. My husband and I are fighting about it because we can't agree what to do to combat this issue, and he just tells me to 'CALM DOWN' which escalates my anger. I can't deal lately -- and when I talked to my doc about possible post partum depression, he just chalked it up to be exhausted. I'm quick to anger, I yell at Kate and sometimes Maggie. I'm a horrible mom.. I'm a monster, really. I wanted these babies so bad, and here I am yelling at them because I lose my cool so quickly these days.
What is wrong with me? Do I need a second opinion about PPD or am I just going through what any mom with 2 under the age of 2 goes through?
3 comments:
Oh no! I am so sorry that this is still happening. I can't imagine functioning on so little rest and having two so young!
I can't remember, are you back to work? I am wondering if they just need more mom time - maybe you can sleep with them on a futon on the floor or something.
Kids are such a puzzle...
And I am thinking that if YOU suspect PPD, then you should really have it check by a mental health professional.
It sounds like you really need a break! I sometimes have less patience that i'd like, and that is with kids who sleep well.. and that momma guilt is torture! I hope you find the reason for Kate's sleepless nights, maybe spring and being outside playing more will help you all!!
Honestly, I don't think it matters that much if it's PPD or exhaustion, because (and this is just my personal view) I think the two shade into each other and feed on each other.
Cole turned two in January and Ruby turns one in April, so I definitely get the two-under-two thing.
If you want suggestions -- though who knows if they'll work for you -- feel free to ask.
If you want sympathy, I'm sending tons of that your way.
Post a Comment